Halloween 2010

October 31^st is quickly approaching and I got to thinking, “how do my fellow Christian moms deal with Halloween?”

I grew up in a pretty much Christian-light home and always celebrated October 31^st as Halloween.  Spooky, kooky, scary, and candy filled.  There was never a discussion about inappropriate costumes, the history of the day or anything really.  Mostly the discussion centered on, “how much candy did you get?”  As I embarked into the journey of motherhood as a Christian I started to think more on what our family would do with this day.  My husband  is from Salem, Massachusetts which is pretty much the Halloween Mecca of the east coast. There was no doubt that we would find a way to celebrate Halloween.  After investigating the origins of Halloween and having some discussion we decided how to handle Halloween in our family. We will watch the Charlie Brown “Great Pumpkin” special, hand out candy and trick or treat.  We will also carve pumpkins and visit Gene the Pumpkin Man each year. We will discourage the darker side of the holiday and set boundaries on Halloween costumes for ourselves and our girls. This is what will work for us, at least for now.

What does your family do with this date?

For more discussion on this topic check out this Focus on the Family link from Steve Russo.

http://www.pluggedin.com/familyroom/articles/2008/whatshouldwedowithhalloween.aspx

By Stacey Davis

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it Proverbs 22:6

I was having one of those days, you know…when you are thinking “Why do I bother talking when no one is listening?” This thought kept popping into my head over that went something like this, “seriously, is this what motherhood is?  A series of repeated phrases and directions given to children over and over and over and over again until they finally get the message?”  I feel like a broken record sometimes….

“Be nice to your sister!”

“Hands are for helping, not hitting!”

“Be patient…”

I even asked my 4 year old at one point during the day, “How many times does mommy have to say it until you will finally listen???”  She answered, straight-faced, “um, a lot.”

 I went to seek comfort from my husband.  Red faced I asked him, “Why do they have to act like such, such, such….” I couldn’t find the right word!  He looked at me and with a grin filled in the blank for me, “Children?”

 Yep, they are children.  Not little adults who know and understand how they should act all of the time and can reasonable handle dissapointment or lack of sleep.  And as a parent, it is my job to train them up.  Which means teach them and allow them to practice.  Some days they get it right and some days it is just wrong, wrong, wrong!  So I start over again the next day.  And I rejoice in those moments when they don’t know I’m watching and I see the fruits of my broken record.

By Stacey Davis

I admit it, I let my kids watch TV. My little one will wake up in the morning and the first words out her mouth are “tartoons, Mommy?”

It turns out that the TV is on in my house to much of the time according to the American Association of Pediatrics. They recommend we allow no more that 1 to 2 hours of “quality” television viewing per day. They also suggest that we don’t allow kids to have TV’s in their rooms.

Wait a minute..no TV in their room?? Does that mean I’m a bad mom because I allow my kid to have a TV in her room??? Isn’t it ok for mom and dad to have control of the TV in our living room once in a while?

These questions bounce around my brain, I think “I want to follow the AAP recommendation, I mean they are the Association of Pediatrics, they know what is good for our kids. Right? They’ve done research.” I don’t want to over stimulate my kids. I don’t want to encourage violence. And I don’t want them to become TV-aholics.

But sometimes I just need a break. A break to write without interruption. A break to breathe my own air. A break to take a shower without hearing “Mommy can you….” So I turn on the TV.

It’s not like they are watching Law & Order or MTV. They are watching Playhouse Disney or Nick Junior. Or a video by Disney or Veggie Tales. Occasionally there is some Scooby Doo thrown in or Tom and Jerry.

Am I making excuses here? Saying 5 hours a day of TV watching is ok as long as it is “quality” programming? Okay, 5 hours might be extreme…but some days it has happened. And, don’t tell anyone, but some days it might have been more than 5.

Today I am going to take a stand. No more guilt!

I hereby pledge to give myself a break if I need it and to not feel guilty about the Scooby Doo marathon that the kids watched today. I will try and keep the TV watching to a minimum and may even have days where that big box is not even used, but if it is I will not berate myself for being a bad mom.

I might even join them in front of the boob tube.

By Stacey Davis

“You only see what I want you to see” I admitted to my friend, a fellow mom. We were sitting at our end of the year mom’s group brunch and my remark was in response to her complimenting me on my mothering abilities.  I think she said something to the effect that I was a natural mom.  What she had seen that morning is my ushering in my sweet little girls with a kiss and hug as I juggled getting them to their rooms for childcare during the brunch. 

What she had not seen is a frantic me trying to get to the brunch on time while I got my girls, ages 3 and 6, and myself packed and ready for an airplane trip to Florida.  You see, we were heading directly to the airport after the brunch to visit my mother.  It was just the girls and I traveling. It was not the smoothest of mornings prior to the brunch.  I had yelled and had my little darlings in tears just moments before getting in our minivan to go to the church.  I had worked myself into a little bit of a frenzy at the thought of taking two kids on a trip from Michigan to Florida all by myself.  So when my friend gave me a compliment I just wanted to look at her with crazy eyes, tear out some hair, and laugh maniacally, but all I could say at the moment was “You only see what I want you to see”.

But not God, He sees it all. The good, the bad, and yes…. the ugly.  And the funny, wonderful, amazing thing is He still loves you. He is our creator and God “don’t make no mistakes”. 

Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV) reads “For you created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

We may show the world a great and happy mask but the Creator of all things sees into your inmost being and He still loves you. Psalm 136 reminds us “His love endures forever.” So today, mom, accept that love and forgive yourself for those less than perfect moments.  Love yourself and love your children in the same way that the Creator of all loves you.

By Stacey Davis

Have you ever had one of those moments when your child yells at you and you yell back “Do not yell at your mommy!”?  Or you catch your older child saying mean things to your younger child shortly after you lost your temper with your husband?  Or how about this one, have you ever spanked your child for hitting another kid?  Yep, I’ve had those moments.  I’ll admit it freely.  Sometimes I forget that I have an audience watching me constantly.  Recently I discovered that Hallmark has a line of cards called The Edge of Motherhood.  One of the cards I read had me laughing out loud in the middle of the store.  On the front is a little girl holding a baby doll and the bubble above her reads “Look, I’m a Mommy!  Leave me alone!  I need a shower!  Where’s my martini?”  The inside reads “Ah.  Kids.  They’re the mirror you wish you didn’t have to look into.”  I stopped laughing after a few minutes and starting thinking.

Any parenting expert will tell you that children learn by imitation.  It is an important part of developing a myriad of abilities ranging from language to social skills. Take the baby who mimics you sticking your tongue out at them.  Plainly stated, kids learn from example.  And they need our example to learn from

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 reads “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. “

God’s word tells us to impress loving God upon our children.  His word tells us to talk to them about loving God all day long, to post this commandment in our homes and on ourselves.  He knew that we would need reminding.  Our children learn first from us on how to walk with God by watching our walk with Him.  We can sit down and do devotions with them, we can take them to church and Sunday school, and we can watch 50 million Veggie Tales movies.  But what are we doing at the other times?  The times when we are at home with just our family and no one else is watching?  Are you showing your children what it means to love God with all your heart, all your soul and all your strength?  Are you teaching them to be kind by being kind to them and their dad?  Are you teaching them to love others by resisting the urge to yell some choice words to that driver who just cut you off?

3 John 1:4 says “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth” (New American Standard Bible). Today Mom, take some time to love yourself, to love your God, and throw out to some good stuff for your kids to catch.